Maine Divorce Law Blog

12 Proactive Steps To Take If You're Contemplating Divorce

The Minnesota Divorce & Family Law Blog posted an article last month titled: Staying Ahead of the Curve: 12 Proactive Steps To Take If You Are Contemplating Divorce. I urge you to read the article. It gives good advice about getting information needed for a divorce BEFORE you file. Sure, it’s basic stuff, but it’ll be very important to your lawyer.

Get critical data before it disappears. Tax returns, financial statements, pay stubs, financial statement, and insurance policies to name a few. The obvious problem with waiting to get that information through your lawyer is that it’s expensive and time-consuming.

So if you’re thinking about divorcing, get your paperwork together now.

Divorce Sucks by Mary Jo Eustace

 

Divorce Sucks

What to do when irreconcilable differences, lawyer fees, and your ex's Hollywood Wife make you miserable

By Mary Jo Eustace

Adams Media

$19.95, hard cover, 224 pages, 978-1-60550-655-5 (2009)

 

 

            I was prepared not to like this book. I have nothing in common with Hollywood and anticipated this as being nothing but a slick, trendy diatribe long on entertainment and short on legitimate advice. I mean, when the cover reads: "My husband left me for Tori Spelling … (and you thought your divorce sucked!)", lets just say my expectations were minimal.

 

            But, I have to admit, that old saying about not judging a book by its cover certainly applies here. Oh sure, it started out Hollywood slick:

 

            This is how I found out I was getting divorced. My husband, Dean, had been away for three weeks making a movie in our country of origin, Canada, when he returned to Los Angeles with some very surprising news. He was having an affair with his costar, Tori Spelling, and he would be leaving me for her rather immediately.

 

            Although the book is written in that glitzy style where everything in Hollywood is better – even divorce, it does have some worthwhile advice. Take the first paragraph from a section captioned "Your Kids Come First":

                       

As much as you may hate your spouse and however your divorce went down, you did have kids with this person. Believe it or not, there was a time you loved this person, and if you have kids, there is a good chance you were sleeping together as well (at one point anyway). You may have thought this person would make a good father/mother. I bet the last thing on your mind was how to split up the assets or screw you ex out of offshore savings. Now you think to yourself, "What the hell did I ever see in this person?" It might be a good question to ask yourself right about now. If you can, make a list. Try to find some of the qualities that made you decide to let him knock you up in the first place. Now more than ever, for the sake of your kids, you are going to need to remember what it was exactly that you ever liked about this person.

 

            In summary, Divorce Sucks is written in a breezy, compelling style that entertains and conveys solid advice at the same time. If you're a woman thinking about separating from your spouse – or now going through a divorce – and never miss an episode of Entertainment Tonight, this book's for you.

Buy it on Amazon .

Avatar: Why Resist? Go See It.

Yeah, I know. They look kinda silly, don’t they? I mean who wants to go see a science fiction movie about blue aliens on another planet?

You do, that’s who.

I recommended this movie to someone on Twitter recently and he said that he wasn’t going to see a movie about blue people.

Mistake.

Even if you don’t typically see science fiction movies, didn’t like STAR WARS or even ET, go see AVATAR. And if you can, go see it in IMAX 3D. Okay, okay, I know it’ll cost more — but believe me, it’s worth it.

Why? Despite having to wear the goofy 3D glasses, the special effects when you get to the planet Pandora are simply stunning — easily the most realistic and absorbing that you’ve ever seen. The 3D technology puts you right smack dab in the middle of this pretend world and doesn’t let you go until the final credits roll.

The 3D effects are totally believable every single moment of this film. And AVATAR is the first movie that makes you want to watch aliens more than people. When the movie flips back to interactions strictly among the humans — you’re bummed. Your thoughts are with the blue aliens and you can’t wait to get back to their story.

This is the first movie that uses 3D technology to fully immerse you in this computer-generated world and make you believe that every object you see is real — and that you’re practically there on Pandora rooting for the aliens.

How is the story you ask?

Not great — but good enough to keep you entertained. Yes, it’s often predictable and good guys and bad guys are unerringly one-dimensional. But the story isn’t awful — what I mean by that is it doesn’t detract from the film. But it’s the spectacular beauty of AVATAR that will sweep you away.

I went with my 15–year old daughter who had no real desire to see the movie but came along at my urging. Riding home in the car afterwards, I asked her if she’d see it again?

She replied, “I’d see that movie ten times in a row.”

‘Nuff said.

 

Premarital Agreements in Maine

A prenuptial agreement in Maine must comply with our laws. It is important to see a lawyer if you're thinking of getting married and want a premarital agreement. The compensation you pay to a lawyer to have it done correctly will be wisely spent if you need to later litigate the issue.

 

Findlaw lists 10 reasons why a premarital agreement might be invalid:

 

1. It's not in writing.
2. It's not properly executed.
3. You signed under pressure.
4. You failed to read it.
5. There was inadequate time to consider it.
6. It contains invalid provisions.
7. It contains false information.
8. You did not have independent counsel.
9. The agreement is unconscionable.

 

Maine law allows the parties to make provisions dealing with personal property, real estate, Wills, spousal support and other matters. The agreement can't deprive a child of support.

 

Lawyers will charge a fee based upon the complexity of the agreement.  And unlike lawyers in personal injury cases, no lawyer would generally agree to a no win, no fee arrangement assuming there was a later challenge to the validity of the agreement.

 

In Maine, if your agreement was signed before October 1, 1993, a premarital agreement becomes effective upon the marriage of the parties and unless the parties sign a document agreeing that it remains in effect, the premarital agreement is void 18 months after the parties have children.

 

If you have any question about the validity of your agreement, call a lawyer and have the document reviewed.

 

 

Facebook May Be Bad For Your Marriage

Research claims that Facebook is fuelling divorces. Read all about it here.

Life is short. Fill in the blanks....

I wrote before about the then quite scandalous billboard promoting divorce this way: Life’s short, get a divorce.

Now comes something even more shocking: Life is Short. Have an Affair. The Toronto Transit Commission recently rejected a proposed advertizing campaign that would have involved wrapping its streetcars with ads for an online dating site that promotes adultery. The controversial would have wrapped 10 city streetcars in purple with the phrase “Life is short. Have an affair.” in bold letters.

What’s next for frustrated married couples?

Life is short. Legalize polygamy.

Life is short. Poison works.

Life is short. Hire a hitman.

What’s your line?

Life is short. ____ __ _____.

 

 

10 Absolutely Crazy Divorce Settlements

Just take a look.

What Does The Gay Marriage Law Mean For Divorce Rates In Maine?

As many of you know, Maine became the 5^th state to allow gay marriage several months ago. Opponents have gathered enough signatures to challenge the law and there is a referendum about it in a few weeks. So far, polls predict that the vote is pretty evenly split.

It’s the most hotly contested ballot issue and there has been plenty of publicity about it here in Maine. The latest involves the opponents of same-sex marriage and the use of on a tv ad of some radio content from National Public Radio. The Portland Press Herald has written about it here.

My question is this: has there been any studies done or are there any statistics available on the frequency of divorce in same-sex marriages? I’m just curious how the statistics stack up against traditional marriages. My bet would be that gay marriages have fewer divorces — but that’s just a guess on my part.

Hubby-Hubby Ice Cream

Same-sex marriage is legal in Vermont today.  Ben & Jerry's has decided to celebrate by renamed its Chubby Hubby ice cream flavor "Hubby Hubby" for the month.

Would you eat it?

Divorce and a House Underwater

Gabriel Cheong, a lawyer in Massachusetts, has a good blog post about the options for divorcing couples when their house is underwater (or in other words, worth less than the amount owed on the mortgage).

He describes (in greater detail than here) 6 options:

1) Live there together until one can afford to move out or refinance.

2) Continue to own the house with one person living there.

3) Refinance.

4) Short sale.

5) Foreclosure.

6) Work with your lender to modify your mortgage.

Another option is for both parties to file for bankruptcy. This would in all likelihood be very messy but if saving your house is a priority, it might be possible under certain situations. You should consult with a bankruptcy lawyer to see if this might be helpful for you.

The other idea that comes to mind, of couse, is to dismiss your divorce or not file for divorce until you can get your home situation straightened out.

Clearly, none of these are ideal choices.

Check out Gabriel’s blog at Massachusetts Divorce and Wills Lawyer for more helpful ideas.