Maine Divorce Law Blog

What is going on with the Gay Marriage Vote in Maine? It's coming up again for a vote this year and I've yet to see any opposing television commercials like in past votes? Have the opponents run out of money or has the time come for this vote? Last I read it was still a close vote with proponents having a slight edge.

Thumbtack.com

Can you ever have too many sites promoting your services?

Experienced Legal Help

Married Lawyers Divorcing and both hate their jobs

According to this article in the ABA Journal, two married lawyers who both hate practicing law are fighting in their divorce over is which one should work at a legal job to pay both of their student loans. Naturally, neither wants to do it. 

Ouch.

Straight Couple Wants Civil Union -- Not Marriage

The ABA Journal is reporting that a straight couple in the United Kingdom is suing for the right to be granted a civil union rathter than a traditional wedding. They have apparently been refused this right because they are not a same-sex couple.

Full article is here.

It’s an interesting concept and one worth following.

What do you think? Can only gay couples be allowed civil unions?

America's 50 Divorce Capitals

What were the top 50 cities in the country for divorce? In other words, who had the highest divorce rates? Here you go.

Panama City, Florida leads the pack.

(No city in Maine is listed.)

No - Nonsense Divorce Talk

Is this the type of divorce lawyer you’re looking for? One thing is for sure, he tells it like he sees it.

 

How to be a savvy cheapskate

Alison Hinson suggested this link for me. It’s a U.S. News & World Report article about choosing a frugal lifestyle. For our difficult financial times, some of the advice makes a lot of sense.

This Is Why You're Fat by Jackie Warner

 

(And How to Get Thin Forever)

By Jackie Warner

Wellness Central

$24.99, hard cover, 307 pages, 978-0-446-54860-1 (2010)

 

 

            On the one hand, I'm a sucker for the impossible promise. "Learn a new language in your sleep." "Grow hair instantly." "Get whiter teeth in just minutes."

 

            So when I read the copy on this book by Jackie Warner (the book describes her as a "fitness expert, gym owner, television star, and entrepreneur" but I confess that I'd never heard of her before), and the book jacket said: "Eat more, cheat more, lose more – and keep it off," I was hooked.

 

            On the other hand, age, if nothing else, has made me skeptical of these claims. But still. "Eat more," that sounds like me; "cheat more," that's definitely me; and "lose more" – um, not so much. This is where the skepticism begins.

 

            Jackie makes lots of promises in this book and she doesn't mince words. "Being fat isn't your fault," she says at one point, "staying fat is." Ouch. Was she ever an Army drill sergeant?

 

            But just when she tears you down, there she is with more of those guilty promises:

 

            CHEATING IS ALLOWED: Eat clean for 5 days, and then indulge over the weekend!

            SKIP THE CRUNCHES: They just build muscle under the fat. Discover the fastest way to burn calories, tone muscle, and spark your metabolism for rapid weight loss.

            LESS (EXERCISE) IS MORE: Workouts shouldn't take over your day – give Jackie 20 minutes and you'll see results.

Once again, she's talking my language.

            But just when you think it's going to be easy, Jackie is back with the tough-love. Sugar not only makes you fat, she writes, but it also grows cancer. Sugar increases the likelihood of breast cancer, pancreatic cancer, colon cancer, stomach cancer, and endometrial cancer. (I didn't even know I had an endometrial.)

 

            Sugar makes you fat, and may increase your risk of cancer ... but if that's not bad enough: sugar ages your skin and causes wrinkles. Want more bad news?  Sugar also kills your immune system and contributes to short-term memory impairment.

 

            Jackie asks in the book if you're a sugar addict. To see if you are, she has the following questionnaire in her book:

 

1.      Do you snack frequently on sweet foods or drink sweet beverages between meals?

2.      Do you often feel shaky, weak, or irritable after eating sugary foods?

3.      Do you eat sugary desserts most days of the week?

4.      Would you describe yourself as chronically tired most days of the week?

5.      Do you usually put sugar in coffee or tea?

6.      Do you use sweet condiments (jams, jellies, syrups, and the like) daily?

7.      At parties, do you gravitate toward the sweets?

8.      When you were a kid, did your parents give you sweets for being good?

9.      After eating sweets, do you feel euphoric, only to have your mood plunge afterward?

10.  When you get cravings, are they mostly for bread or sweets?

11.  Do you suffer from frequent headaches?

12.  Do you usually grab a doughnut or bagel for breakfast?

13.  Do you drink soft drinks almost daily?

14.  When you go to the snack counter at the movies, do you usually buy candy?

15.  If you order an alcoholic beverage, is it usually something sweet like a piña colada or frozen margarita?

 

After taking this questionnaire, I was proud of the fact that I said "no" to over half of the questions. Unfortunately, if you answered yes to just three or more questions, the chances are that you are a sugar addict. Oh crap.

 

            Jackie goes on to explain how to stop the sugar blues by getting rid of sugary treats and purchasing fruits, berries, and citrus foods instead. She then goes on to explain that another reason you're getting fat is your organs: an overworked liver, a sluggish thyroid, and exhausted adrenals. (So that's my problem -- my adrenal gland is a wuss.)

 

            The final parts of the book are filled with ways to eat healthy. Suggestions like keeping a food journal, drinking less alcohol, reading labels, and purchasing mostly raw, fresh and preferably organic vegetables all make good sense.

 

Her section on exercising has programs for the treadmill, elliptical, stair climber, indoor bike, swimming, and walking or hiking. Jackie also believes that gaining muscle is the quickest way to lose weight. She suggests resistance training for both men and women. She provides exercises for home or the gym, and includes helpful pictures of the various exercises to be sure that you do them correctly. She also lists various resistance routines that incorporate cardio workouts.

           

Finally Jackie has a complete appendix of healthy meal plans and recipes, as well as a sample food journal and a training log. On the whole, this is a book filled with good advice about exercise and sound suggestions on eating healthy. Although perhaps not as exciting as "Lose 2 pounds daily without diet or exercise," following the guidelines in this book would appear to do just what it promises: make you thin forever.

 

Buy it here on Amazon.

Happily Ever After Divorce by Jessica Bram

 

Happily Ever After Divorce

Notes of a Joyful Journey

By Jessica Bram

Health Communications, Inc.

$14.95, paperback, 254 pages, 978-0-7375-0758-4 (2009)

 

            This is a book with a unique point of view: divorce doesn't have to be the worst experience of your life, and it can even lead to a joyful and fulfilling life. Although the author doesn't skimp on the challenges she faced in going through her divorce, her personal stories show her ability to overcome difficult times and emerge triumphant.

 

            The book opens with the author, Jessica Bram, leaving her nineteen year marriage at the age of forty-one, with three young children. In her introduction, she admits that finding the courage to get out of her marriage was hard.

 

Hard like childbirth, like building a skyscraper or perhaps demolishing one. As hard as any of the most formidable challenges I had ever faced -- every college or graduate school degree, every major disruption, every relocation, every turnaround.

But then, as after childbirth, a glorious new life emerged at this time, my own. After my divorce I emerged into sunlight, stunned and blinking. Disoriented, yes, and many, many times afraid. But only then did life begin. Only then did I start to piece together, for the first time ever, a life that had fresh air and laughter, challenges and triumphs. A life of outer joys and for the first time, inner peace.

                        I am here to say that it can be done.

 

            In a refreshing down-to-earth writing style, Bram reveals how she coped with the rollercoaster of emotions as she went through the divorce process. She discusses how she raised her children in a loving atmosphere and worked with her ex-husband to be sure that they always acted in a way that was best for the children.

 

How did these children of a painful, difficult divorce turn out? I can say this unequivocally: that the way we raised them as children who belong to two separate homes, governed in the agreement that we tediously began to hammer out over that long-ago cup of coffee, is the one thing, in my life at least, I can call an unqualified success. Our three boys grew up confident and secure in two different, peaceful, loving homes. Never having had to choose between their parents, they have close, comfortable relationships with both their father and me. They get along well with each other and with friends. There have been girlfriends, some long-term. All three have excelled in school, with the two oldest attending Ivy League colleges. The fact that their lives were not cradled in wall-to-wall comfort, that they had extra responsibilities -- remembering in which house their school books were left, helping their mother shoulder difficult household chores, preparing their week's assignments while keeping in mind in which house they would be spending the night -- only made them more capable and mature than a good many of their peers. Mostly, I believe that they are truly secure -- as only children with reliable, mature, and loving parents can be.

 

 

            This is a book that any woman going through the emotional turmoil of divorce will relate to. It's filled with personal moments of revelation, good sound advice, and helpful ideas. If you're going through a divorce – or even thinking about divorce – this book is for you. Not only will you find a kindred spirit, but you'll enjoy the clever writing and upbeat message that even though your marriage is ending, a new and possibly wondrous life for you is just beginning.

 

Buy it on Amazon.

Free Last Will and Testament for Mainers

 

How would you like to have a Last Will and Testament prepared by a Maine lawyer for free? No strings attached.

 

No, this is NOT an April fool's joke.

 

I'd like to offer you the opportunity to talk to a Maine lawyer and get a simple Will prepared specifically for you at no cost. Let me explain why I'm doing this. I've been practicing law now for 30 years and decided to do something to celebrate that milestone. In today's difficult economy, what better way to commemorate than giving something away to Mainer for free?

 

I think that Wills are so important to have that I've decided to provide to any Maine resident who is under the age of 30, a free simple Last Will and Testament. All you have to do is contact me and ask for it.

 

Sure, you can purchase software that will help you with a Will – or you can find a sample one on the Internet or buy one from those legal sites that offer them online. But I'm providing you with something else – a Will drafted specifically for you after consulting with a Maine lawyer.

 

What do you need to do to qualify? It's easy:

 

1.      Be over the age of 18; and

2.      Be under the age of 30; and

3.      Be a Maine resident.

 

That's it!

 

What's the catch you ask? None really – though I do recommend that you also have a Durable Power of Attorney and a Health Care Power of Attorney (sometimes called a Living Will).  If you don't have these documents and are unfamiliar with them, let me explain them to you. 

 

As I'm sure you know, a Will indicates what you want done with your assets after you die.  A Durable Power of Attorney is a document giving someone else the authority to do things on your behalf.  Typical powers include the ability to transfer assets, deal with the IRS, sign agreements, make gifts, open and close bank accounts, and other matters.  This document is helpful if you're away on business or on vacation and want someone else to do things for you while you're unavailable.

 

A Health Care Power of Attorney is a document you sign that deals with your medical care and it indicates the type of treatment you want to receive if you're unable to communicate with your doctor.  You specify what your end-of-life decisions are and give another person the authority to make your wishes known to your treating physician.

 

I normally charge a low fee for the Durable Power of Attorney and the Health Care Power of Attorney. But if you want them done at the same time that I'm drafting your free Will (and again, there is NO obligation to get them), I'll charge you just one-half of what I normally charge for both documents. Call for details.

 

I can hear the questions already.

 

What about if I'm a student out of state, do I still qualify?

If you're between 18 and 30 and a Maine resident, you still get a free Will no matter where you live.

 

What if I'm married or living with someone or have a domestic partner, does that person also get a free Will?

Sure – if that person qualifies under the above conditions. If not, I'll do a Will for that person at a reduced cost.

 

What about if I have children, can I get a Will that provides for them?

Yes – if you have children, you need a Will more than most people.

 

Now I should add that I'm not going to provide you with complex tax advice or draft convoluted trusts to minimize probate or do anything intricate for those lucky enough to be so wealthy they need to worry about their estate. I'm providing a simple Will that should properly deal with the vast majority of Maine residents who qualify under this free offer. If the person you're living with doesn't qualify because he or she isn't between 18 and 30 or isn't a Maine resident, I'll do a simple Will for the bargain price of one-half of my normal charge. Call for details.

 

What if I want to come to your office to make sure that I sign the Will and other documents properly – can I do that for free too?

Yes. I'll have a notary and witnesses available at no charge.

 

So what are you waiting for – call me today (207-828-4400) and let's get started in making a free Will for you. I expect this promotion to be popular and am only offering it for a limited time.

 

No fooling.